why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
