but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
