is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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