32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
