I must be too annoying 4 u.
"it" just moved
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
