Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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