I bet he comes in French.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
