I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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