i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
