Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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