What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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