Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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