If i come over, it means nothing
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize