So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Couch. On fire.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
