I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
