Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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