she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
