so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Found your dick twin last night
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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