Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We named our party play list daddy issues
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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