Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
