MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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