Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
