We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize