I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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