I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize