He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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