Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Randomize