i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I touched a dick in church today
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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