Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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