Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
