On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
