You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
