Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
