covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
