k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
it was like eating out sand paper
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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