Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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