i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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