oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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