why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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