everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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