i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
