Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
