this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
