come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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