Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize