Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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