I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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