Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
