Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
