two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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