YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
