is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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