forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
