You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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