he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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