If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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