Sry I called you an 8
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
