think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize