ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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