Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
