I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
