I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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