Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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