birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
