Porn is love you can see.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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