There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
