it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
