He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
