I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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