But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
