I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
