Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
