when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
