My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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