Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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